Handwriting confessions

I went to a new dentist this week.  (I first wrote "I started seeing a new dentist this week."  But that sounded as if we were dating, which we're not.  So I changed it.)  He was looking over my x-rays and chart, saying things like "This looks really nice" and "Wow.  Fantastic." Then he turned to me and said, 

"I always admire people who have nice handwriting." 

????   

I think he meant smiles.

"You really do have very nice handwriting."

There!  He said it again!  He was supposed to be complementing me on my beautiful pearly whites - not my handwriting.  I was nearly offended.  Not really.

"Did you study architecture or graphic design ?" 

No, no, I'm not an architect or graphic designer.  I'm a lefty.  Chances are, deep down somewhere, I am compensating. For all those years of insanely backward slanting letters.  And smudges on my papers.  Besides, the alternative is not good.   If I had written in cursive everyone would have been gathered around my new patient form trying to decipher what it said.  Myself included. 

I print.  All in caps.  Orderly measured capital letters.  This is for the best.  Because when I don't, my writing tends to look like this:

What the heck are those giant horizontal loops?  Yes, that is English.  I pulled that sample out of an old stack of papers.  I believe the second word is shove or shine or shore or there or possibly shame?  Maybe ahem?   OK, that's reaching.  It gets worse.  Below is a note I wrote to myself in high school.  It was a reminder of some sort.  I cut it out and taped it in a scrapbook back in my "brutally cut things out and tape them randomly into a scrapbook" phase.  I keep thinking that someday it will all become clear:

 I have NO idea what it says. 

To all of you with truly beautiful handwriting, I tip my hat to you.